Ceremony – Declaration of Intent (I Do’s) – adapted by Arwen Freer

SPOUSE1, do you choose SPOUSE2 to be your lawfully wedded ROLE2, and do you promise to give yourself in all love and honor, in all duty and service, in all faith and tenderness, and forsaking all others, to live with, and cherish PRONOUN2, in the holy bond of marriage as long as you both shall live? (Pause for SPOUSE1 response: I do)

SPOUSE2, do you choose SPOUSE1 to be your lawfully wedded ROLE1, and do you promise to give yourself in all love and honor, in all duty and service, in all faith and tenderness, and forsaking all others, to live with, and cherish PRONOUN1, in the holy bond of marriage as long as you both shall live? (Pause for SPOUSE2 response: I do)

OPTION: for secular ceremonies, the word “holy” can be omitted.

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Reading – The Wedding of Serge and Molly, from the book Torpedo Juice By Tim Dorsey

I, Serge, take you, Molly, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to love and to hold, in sickness and on health, in good times and bad, choosing you exclusively as my wife, friend, partner, airtight alibi, getaway driver, nurturing each other’s growth, making fun of the same relatives behind their backs, developing a list of running gags that is the foundation of any solid relationship, doing all the cool things married people do, which is why I’m really looking forward to this: snuggling on the couch with photo albums, watching classic movies in bed with lots of snacks, making silly remarks when we fart, at least at first before is becomes contentious, always agreeing with my wife that her really hot-looking friends dress like sluts and promising never, ever to fight. And when we do, to fight fair and not take off our rings and throw them at each other or reach for hot-button secrets we confided like those kids from junior high and their cruel nicknames-damn them to eternal hell! Then having lots and lots of kids with normal names instead of Scout, Tyfani, Dakota, Breeze or Shaniquatella, reading them bedtime stories and nursery rhymes, singing Christmas carols, teaching them that the “special words” Mommy and Daddy use around the house can’t be repeated at school because it’s “our little secret.” I, further solemnly swear to adore and respect, to honor and defend, against all foes foreign and domestic, my love, my light, my life, the wind beneath my wings, the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air, fourscore and seven years, in Birmingham they love the guv’nah—ooo-ooo-ooo!  As long as we both shall live! Amen!

 

 

 

 

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Ceremony – Celtic Blessing of Four Elements

In this ceremony, the officiant says a line, and the couple repeats it together at the same time.  This can be accompanied by a handfasting of 4 cords, one representing each element: brown for earth, white for air, red for fire, and blue for water.

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We ask protection for the ones that we love.

We honor all creation as we pledge our hearts and lives together.

We honor earth and ask our marriage be abundant and grow stronger through the seasons.

We honor air as we sail through life safe and calm in the arms of the universe.

We honor fire and ask that our union be warm and glowing with love in our hearts.

We honor water to clean and soothe our relationship that it may never thirst for love.

With all the forces of the universe we pray for harmony and true happiness as we forever grow young together.

Blessed be.

 

 

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Ceremony – Celtic Vows for the Marriage of Equals

In this ceremony, the officiant says a line, and the couple repeats it together at the same time.

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You cannot possess me, for I belong to myself.

But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.

You cannot command me, for I am a free person.

I pledge to you that it will be your eyes into which I smile every morning.

I pledge to you my living and dying equally in your care.

I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine.

I shall not slander you nor you me.

I shall honor you above all others.

And when we quarrel we shall do so in private and tell no strangers of our grievance.

This is my wedding vow to you.

This is the marriage of equals.

 

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Ceremony – Gaelic Wedding Pledge

You cannot possess me, for I belong to myself,
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.
You cannot command me, for I am a free person,
But I shall serve you in those ways you require.
And the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.
I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night.
And the eyes into which I smile in the morning.
I pledge to you the first bite from my meat,
And the first drink from my cup.
I pledge to you my living and dying, equally in your care,
And tell no strangers our grievances.
This is my wedding vow to you.
This is a marriage of equals.

 

 

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Ceremony – Vows by Dr Suess

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you’re happy or sad?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love through good and bad,
Whether we’re happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love her if you’re rich?
Or if you’re poor, and in a ditch?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love her if we’re rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I’ll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Pastor: Will you love her when you’re fit,
And also when you’re feeling sick?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love her when we’re fit,
And when we’re hurt, and when we’re sick,
And I will love her when we’re rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we’re rich,
And when we’re broke and in a ditch,
And when we’re fit, and when we’re sick,
(Oh, CAN’T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I’ll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Pastor: Then if you’ll take her as your wife,
And if you’ll love her all your life,
And if you’ll have, and if you’ll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you’ll love through good and bad,
And whether you’re happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you’re poor, and when in wealth,
And if you’ll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you’ll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Pastor and Groom: I DO!

Pastor: You’re married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.

 

 

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Ceremony – Ring Exchange – adapted by Arwen Freer, Minister

I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness.
As I place it on your finger, I commit my heart to you.
I pledge to you all that I am and all that I will ever be as your (wife/husband).
Let this ring be a reminder that I am always by your side
and may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my love.
In sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, for better or worse,
I choose you to be my (wife/husband) this day and forevermore.

 

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