Tag Archives: ceremony

Ceremony – God’s Knot – adapted by Arwen Freer

Ceremony

As we are told in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
SPOUSE2 and SPOUSE2, symbolizing this scripture, you will now be braiding a God’s Knot to represent your relationship. The Cord of Three Strands symbolizes the joining of the two of you by God into a marriage. Marriage takes three; the husband, the wife, and God. It was God who taught us to love. By keeping Him at the center of your relationship, His love will continue to bind you together as one throughout your marriage.  In braiding these strands together, you are committing to a unity not just between the two of you, but also with God, weaving Him into every aspect of your lives together. (Pause for braiding to complete)

And so the knot is tied.

 

OPTIONAL: This additional text can be added, if the traditional cord colors are used:

Gold Strand – Represents God

The divinity of God is represented in Gold. This covenant relationship is initiated by Him, will be built under His authority, and is intended to glorify Him.

Purple Strand – Represents the Groom

As a new creation in Christ, the majesty of the Groom is represented in purple. As the husband loves his wife and submits himself to the Lord, the Lord in turn will demonstrate His great love in the marriage.

White Strand – Represents the Bride

Having been cleansed by salvation in Christ, the purity of the Bride is represented in white. As the wife loves her husband and submits herself to the Lord, the Lord in turn will nurture and strengthen the marriage.

 

Ceremony – Wine Box – adapted by Arwen Freer

Ceremony

SPOUSE2 and SPOUSE1 have decided to dedicate a wine box today. They will be placing into the box a bottle of wine and love letters written to each other.  In the letters, which they have kept secret, they have described what made them fall in love with the other person and what makes them so special, why they chose to get married today, and what they hope for their future together.  They will be sealing this box and it will not be opened until their first anniversary.  When they open the box, they will share the bottle of wine and read the letters for the first time.  Then, and every following anniversary, they will renew the box with a new bottle of wine, and replace their original letters, so that every year they can be reminded of how they feel today.

Ceremony – Plant Unity Ceremony with Children – adapted by Arwen Freer

Ceremony

Today is not just about a couple’s commitment to their marriage, but also the commitment of a whole family to support each other. Will the children please join us?

The family will be symbolizing their union by potting a plant together. A healthy family, like a healthy plant, depends on nurturing gardeners.

You must start with a foundation that allows for space and growth, so you begin with a layer of stones. While making a strong foundation, there is space between them to let extra water flow through and ensure your delicate plant does not drown. In your family, also remember that you will need to respect each other and give each other space to be yourselves.

Next you must nurture growth; so you will add a layer of soil. In your family, you have the foundation of love, respect, admiration and teamwork to nurture your bond.  This is the foundation where you will grow the roots of your family strong and deep.

Now that you have prepared your foundation, you can put your plant in this fertile ground, as you plant your family in this foundation of support and love.

Finally, we must remember that relationships require constant replenishment. As you water your plant for the first time, remember also to water your relationships with understanding, patience, support, and attention to each other’s needs.

As you look forward in your relationship, remember to be the constant gardener. Continue to water your plant, and remember to replenish your relationship with ongoing support.  Fertilize your plant, and give your relationship an occasional boots by trying and learning new things together.  Be sure your plant is getting enough light; keep honesty and open communication in your relationship every day.  Prune your plant; continue to better yourselves and your relationships, putting behind you anything that does not support their growth and strength.  With constant care, your family, like this plant, will grow and prosper.

 

 

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Ceremony – Plant Unity Ceremony – adapted by Arwen Freer

Ceremony

A healthy relationship, like a healthy plant depends on nurturing gardeners. The couple will be symbolizing their union by potting a plant together.

You must start with a foundation that allows for space and growth, so you begin with a layer of stones. While making a strong foundation, there is space between them to let extra water flow through and ensure your delicate plant does not drown. In your relationship, also remember that you will need to respect your partner and give them space to be themselves.

Next you must nurture growth; so you add a layer of soil. In your relationship, you have the foundation of love, respect, admiration and teamwork to nurture your bond.  This is the foundation where you will grow the roots of your relationship strong and deep.

Now that you have prepared your foundation, you can put your plant in this fertile ground, as you plant your relationship in this foundation of support and love.

Finally, we must remember that relationships require constant replenishment. As you water your plant for the first time, remember also to water your relationship with understanding, patience, support, and attention to each other’s needs.

As you look forward in your relationship, remember to be the constant gardener. Continue to water your plant, and remember to replenish your relationship with ongoing support.  Fertilize your plant, and give your relationship an occasional boots by trying and learning new things together.  Be sure your plant is getting enough light; keep honesty and open communication in your relationship every day.  Prune your plant; continue to better yourselves and your relationship, putting behind you anything that does not support its growth and strength.  With constant care, your marriage, like this plant will grow and prosper.

 

 

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Ceremony – Basic Ceremony Outline

Ceremony

Ceremonies can come in various formats, depending on the couple’s faith or preferences, but here is one example of a ceremony outline with the parts described, to give you an idea of what you might see.

OPENING

This includes a welcome of the guests (Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…)

It includes a few sentences to get the couple focused on each other (Name1 and Name2, today you proclaim your love to the world…).

If a family member will be asked for their blessing, this is also a part of the opening (Who gives their blessing to the marriage of this couple?).

DEVOTIONAL / READING / SONG

For a religious ceremony, this is where scriptures and prayers may be placed.

For non-religious ceremonies this area can contain readings and poems.

Readings can be delivered either by the officiant or other people designated by the couple.

This is also the place to put special songs or similar presentations.

DECLARATION OF INTENT

Typically, this is the “I do” part of the ceremony. The purpose is for the officiant to verify that both people consent and intend to be married to each other. While it can be worded a number of ways, this is the only part of the ceremony that is mandatory, besides the proclamation at the end.  You can follow this link to see an example of a Declaration of Intent that I use frequently.

EXCHANGE OF VOWS AND RINGS

This is where the couple exchanges vows, and it often includes an exchange of wedding rings that symbolize the vows.  Typically, the couple will repeat after the officiant for the lines of their vows, but couples may opt to read or say their own vows as well.  You can follow this link to see an example of Ring Exchange Vows that I use frequently.

UNITY CEREMONY / ADDITIONAL READING OR SONGS

If the couple wishes to include a unity ceremony to further symbolize their bond, it will be placed here.   There are hundreds of types of unity ceremonies, but some of the most common are: candle lighting, sand blending, handfasting, broom jumping, wine blending, oathing stone, planting, painting, coin and lasso, bread and honey or salt, etc.

Additional readings, scriptures or songs can also be added here.

CLOSING AND PROCLAIMATION

These are final words from the officiant to bring the ceremony to a close, and it typically ends with the couple kissing (By the powers vested in my, I now pronounce you…).

INTRODUCTION

In formal weddings, after the couple kisses, they will turn to face the audience, and the officiant will introduce them as a couple for the first time (Dearly Beloved, I am honored to present  M. and M. Name).  The audience stands and cheers and the couple starts the recession.

ANNOUNCEMENTS AND DISMISSALS

In formal weddings, after the wedding party members have all recessed from the front of the room, the officiant can be asked to deliver announcements (The couple would like to invite you to join them at [location] for appetizers; the reception hall will open for seating at 0:00pm).

The officiant may also be asked to dismiss the audience, starting with the family and honored guests up front, and then releasing rows one at a time to manage the exit of the crowd.

 

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Ceremony – Collaring – adapted by Arwen Freer

Ceremony

While there are as many variations on collaring ceremonies as there are couples, here is one example of vows that can be incorporated into the ceremony.

D Type:
I NAME1 take you NAME2 as my ROLE2.
I give you my collar, of my own free will, as a symbol of our contract and my love.
I gratefully accept your submission, and your willingness to serve me.
I promise to always remember that submission is a gift and treat it as such.
I promise to love, honor, cherish, protect and guide you.
I promise to consider your well-being in all matters.
I promise to do everything in my power to make you feel, supported, nurtured, and owned.
And I promise carry your love in my heart always.

S Type:
I NAME2 take you NAME1 as my ROLE1.
I accept your collar, of my own free will, as a symbol of our contract and my love.
I gratefully accept your dominance, and your willingness to guide me.
I promise to always remember that dominance is a gift and treat it as such.
I promise to love, honor, cherish, serve and obey you.
I promise to consider your well-being in all matters.
I promise to do everything in my power to make you feel, supported, trusted and worshiped.
And I promise to carry your love in my heart always.

 

 

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Ceremony – Jewish Sheva Brachot, the Seven Benedictions

Ceremony

The Jewish tradition of the Sheva Brachot, the Seven Benedictions:

  • Blessed are You, Adonai our God, King of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine.
  • Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, King of the universe, Who has created everything for your glory.
  • Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, King of the universe, Creator of Human Beings.
  • Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, King of the universe, Who has fashioned human beings in your image, according to your likeness and has fashioned from it a lasting mold. Blessed are You Adonai, Creator of Human Beings.
  • Bring intense joy and exultation to the barren one (Jerusalem) through the ingathering of her children amidst her in gladness. Blessed are You, Adonai, Who gladdens Zion through her children.
  • Gladden the beloved companions as You gladdened Your creatures in the garden of Eden. Blessed are You, Adonai, Who gladdens groom and bride.
  • Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, King of the universe, Who created joy and gladness, groom and bride, mirth, glad song, pleasure, delight, love, brotherhood, peace, and companionship. Adonai, our God, let there soon be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride, the sound of the grooms’ jubilance from their canopies and of the youths from their song-filled feasts. Blessed are You Who causes the groom to rejoice with his bride.

 

 

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Ceremony – Hand Washing

Ceremony

Couple approaches a table with a bowl of water and two hand towels.

Officiant: Today, you start your life together anew as a married couple. It is best to start with a clean slate, putting problems, big and small, behind you. You come acknowledging that the person you have chosen is not perfect, yet fits with you in a way no other person can. Whatever difficulties you may have experienced, today you have decided that your love is bigger than any of them, and you have chosen a life together. Water brings forgiveness and we all need forgiveness. We need to forgive others and we need to forgive ourselves.  As you wash your hands in this bowl of water, forgive yourself and each other for any pain in the past. Allow yourself to be forgiven for your human imperfections.  (Couple washes their hands.)

Allowing yourselves to have your hands dried by each other signifies your vulnerability. We all have to be vulnerable; it breaks through isolation, and in our own vulnerability, we become more trusting, caring and understanding of our partner. In a loving and compassionate marriage, to achieve the greatest intimacy, you must have the courage to be open and vulnerable to each other.  (Couple dries each other’s hands.)

Do you begin your lives together with grace and compassion?

Couple: We do.

 

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Ceremony – Sand Blending – With Guests

Ceremony

Each of you in attendance were asked to be here because you hold a special place in Spouse2’s and Spouse1’s life.  You came to honor and witness their love and commitment. So, SPOUSE2 and SPOUSE1 wanted to make each of you a tangible part of this ceremony. On their behalf, I will now ask each of you to put a spoonful of sand into this container, representing your love and support for them.

SPOUSE1 and SPOUSE2, today you are making a commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other. Your relationship will be symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand; each representing all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be.

Consider your containers of sand. Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without the need of anything else. These containers represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique. As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join together as one.

When the two are blended, together they represent an entirely new and extraordinary loving relationship. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination. The life that each of you have experienced until now, individually, will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall become one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your lives be.

 

 

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Ceremony – Sand Blending – With Parents

Ceremony

SPOUSE1 and SPOUSE2, today you are making a commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other. Your relationship will be symbolized through this blending of sand.

However, you are not just uniting with each other, but also joining two families together.  Will the parents come forward first and pour a blended layer to honor the foundation each family gave to the Spouse1 and Spouse2 and to show your blessing for this union.

SPOUSE1 and SPOUSE2, consider your containers of sand. Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without the need of anything else. These containers represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique. As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join together as one.

When the two are blended, together they represent an entirely new and extraordinary loving relationship. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination. The life that each of you have experienced until now, individually, will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall become one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your lives be.

VARIATION:

An additional layer can be added on top by the minister, to represent God’s blessing to the union.

 

 

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Ceremony – Sand Blending – With Children

Ceremony

SPOUSE1 and SPOUSE2, today you are making a commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other and honor your children as well.

Your family relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these individual containers of sand; one, representing you, SPOUSE1 and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, one representing you, SPOUSE2, and all that you were and all that you are, and all that you will ever be.

Each child also has a container, as they also will contribute to this marriage.  As this new family is formed, it will have a deep influence upon them as they will also influence the family. We realize that in order for the home to be a happy one, it is essential that there be love and understanding between the children and the adults being married.

Consider your containers of sand. Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without the need of anything else. These containers represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique. As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join together as one. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination.

Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your lives be.

 

 

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Ceremony – Sand Blending – 4 Layer

Ceremony

SPOUSE1 and SPOUSE2, today you are making a commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other. Your relationship will symbolized through this blending of sand.

I will pour the first layer of plain sand, to symbolize that the marriage is grounded on a strong, common foundation and an equal partnership.

Consider your own containers of sand now. Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without the need of anything else. These containers represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique.

SPOUSE2, please pour a layer of your sand, showing your commitment to brining all of your individual gifts to this union.

Now, SPOUSE1, please pour a layer of your sand, showing your commitment to brining all of your individual gifts to this union.

Now, the two of you, pour together, to combine your sands.  

When the two are blended, together they represent an entirely new and extraordinary loving relationship. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination. The life that each of you have experienced until now, individually, will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall become one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your lives be.

VARIATION:

A 5th layer can be added by the minister, plain or white sand on top of all the rest, to represent God’s blessing to the union.

 

 

 

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Ceremony – Sand Blending – Simple

Ceremony

SPOUSE1 and SPOUSE2, today you are making a commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other. Your relationship will be symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand; each representing all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be.

Consider your containers of sand. Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without the need of anything else. These containers represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique. As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join together as one.

When the two are blended, together they represent an entirely new and extraordinary loving relationship. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination. The life that each of you have experienced until now, individually, will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall become one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your lives be.

 

 

 

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Ceremony – Wine Blessing

Ceremony

There are two ways to conduct this ceremony.  Either a single glass is poured by the officiant from one bottle of wine, or the couple could each hold a different bottle of wine (usually one white wine and one red wine) which they pour together into a single glass.  In the 2nd type of ceremony, language is added about how their lives will be joined and can never be separated again, like two wines. Below you see the simpler ceremony using one bottle.

————————————————————————

Officiant: A good wine, like a good marriage, is the result of many years of hard work. There is the unhurried nurturing of the vine and tender care of the grape, thoughtful mix of ingredients, patient fermenting — yielding the unique flavors of each passing year.

So let the blessing of this first glass of wine that you taste together celebrate all that has brought you to this moment, expressing hope and faith in the commitments you have made here today. And let it symbolize for you how sharing the partnership of marriage not only doubles the sweetness of life, but also lightens the burden of its bitterness by half.

[ The officiant passes the cup to spouse1, who holds it to spouse2’s lips for them to drink.  Spouse1 then passes the cup to spouse2, who holds it to spouse1’s lips for them to drink.]

 

 

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Ceremony – Celtic Vows for the Marriage of Equals

Ceremony

In this ceremony, the officiant says a line, and the couple repeats it together at the same time.

—————————————————————-

You cannot possess me, for I belong to myself.

But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.

You cannot command me, for I am a free person.

I pledge to you that it will be your eyes into which I smile every morning.

I pledge to you my living and dying equally in your care.

I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine.

I shall not slander you nor you me.

I shall honor you above all others.

And when we quarrel we shall do so in private and tell no strangers of our grievance.

This is my wedding vow to you.

This is the marriage of equals.

 

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Ceremony – Gaelic Wedding Pledge

Ceremony

You cannot possess me, for I belong to myself,
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.
You cannot command me, for I am a free person,
But I shall serve you in those ways you require.
And the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.
I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night.
And the eyes into which I smile in the morning.
I pledge to you the first bite from my meat,
And the first drink from my cup.
I pledge to you my living and dying, equally in your care,
And tell no strangers our grievances.
This is my wedding vow to you.
This is a marriage of equals.

 

 

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Ceremony – Shell or Stone Blessing

Ceremony

Originally used for beach weddings by the ocean, this ceremony can also be used near any body of water such as a lake or river. As guests arrive they are asked to choose a Seashell or Stone from a basket (or you may prefer to have someone handing them out as they arrive).  This is a creative way to bring the ceremony to a close.

——————————————-

Officiant: SPOUSE1 and SPOUSE2 before you met, your lives were on different paths with different destinations. But love has brought you together and joined these separate paths into one. Each of your loved ones here today has been given a small seashell that represents their presence at your wedding today, as their individual paths are also joining yours for this ceremony. When a commitment this strong is made by two people, the power of that commitment, of that love, of that courage, reaches out and touches all of us around you, so that our lives are changed and we share a part of your love. Like a seashell dropped in an ocean, the ripple of the love from this celebration extends and changes the world we live in.

I will now ask that everyone please hold the shell you have been given and pause to make a silent wish or blessing for happiness and good will for the couple and for the future of their marriage. (pause for silent blessing)

Now, please follow the couple down to the water’s edge. Once we get there, the couple will count to three. On three, we will all cast our shells into the ocean, and as the ripples touch and intertwine with one another, may our love and blessings also touch and intertwine.

(pause to get everyone to the water’s edge, then couple counts to 3 and the shells are tossed in.)

 

 

 

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Ceremony – Truce Bell

Ceremony

The Bell of Truce originates from west Ireland peasant traditions, believed to be derived from St. Patrick’s Bell of Will. St. Patrick believed that bells were important to his ministry, and helped him in performing miracles. There is also a tradition in many cultures that the sound of ringing bells will ward off evil spirits.  The Truce Bell, is a bell that is blessed by the officiant of the ceremony and presented to the bride and groom for future use to end any arguments that may arise.

—————————————-

Officiant: SPOUSE1 and SPOUSE2 have an expectation of marriage that is not only romantic but also realistic, and they wish to express this within the context of their wedding ceremony with this bell of truce. Bells have long been associated with weddings as their joyous tones announce good tidings, but this bell will have one more important duty.

(Spouse1)  think of all the most lovely things about (Spouse2), and what sparks your love and makes you want to spend the rest of your lives together.  Think also about all the wonderful things you hope for your future together.  While holding on to these thoughts, give this bell a hardy ring.  (pause for ringing)

(Spouse2) think of all the most lovely things about (Spouse1), and what sparks your love and makes you want to spend the rest of your lives together.  Think also about all the wonderful things you hope for your future together. While holding on to these thoughts, give this bell a hardy ring.  (pause for ringing)

(Spouse1) and (Spouse2), I hereby bless this bell; may its familiar sound always bring back memories of what you were thinking the first time you rang it. Keep this bell in your home to remind you of your wedding day, your love, and your hopes. When arguments arise, and they will, put this bell to its best use. One of you should ring the bell to call a truce. Its sound will remind you of your vows, conjure up the happiest memories from this day and help you resolve your differences in a loving and compassionate way.

 

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Ceremony – Vows by Dr Suess

Reading

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you’re happy or sad?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love through good and bad,
Whether we’re happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love her if you’re rich?
Or if you’re poor, and in a ditch?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love her if we’re rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I’ll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Pastor: Will you love her when you’re fit,
And also when you’re feeling sick?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love her when we’re fit,
And when we’re hurt, and when we’re sick,
And I will love her when we’re rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we’re rich,
And when we’re broke and in a ditch,
And when we’re fit, and when we’re sick,
(Oh, CAN’T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I’ll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Pastor: Then if you’ll take her as your wife,
And if you’ll love her all your life,
And if you’ll have, and if you’ll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you’ll love through good and bad,
And whether you’re happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you’re poor, and when in wealth,
And if you’ll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you’ll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Pastor and Groom: I DO!

Pastor: You’re married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.

 

 

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Ceremony – Native American Rite of Seven Steps

Reading

Here are two variations on the Native American Rite of Seven Steps.  One variation is set up for one speaker at a time, in the manner of vows.  The second variation is said alternating between the bride and groom.

Rite of Seven Steps by a single speaker:

Let us take the first step to provide for our household
a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living.
Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental and spiritual powers.
Let us take the third step to increase our wealth
by righteous means and proper use.
Let us take the fourth step to acquire knowledge,
happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust.
Let us take the fifth step, so that we be blessed
with strong, virtuous and heroic children.
Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.
Finally, let us take the seventh step and be true companions
and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock.”

We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever.
Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours.
Hereafter, I cannot live without you.
Do not live without me. Let us share the joys.
We are word and meaning, united.
You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us;
may the morning be honey-sweet for us;
may the earth be honey-sweet for us and the heavens
be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us;
may the sun be all honey for us;
may the cows yield us honey-sweet milk.
As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable,
as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable,
so may our unions be permanently settled.

Rite of Seven Steps with alternating speakers:

GROOM STEP 1: O’ my beloved, our love has become firm by your walking one with me. Together we will share the responsibilities of the lodge, food and children. May the Creator bless noble children to share. May they live long.

BRIDE STEP 1: This is my commitment to you, my husband. Together we will share the responsibility of the home, food and children. I promise that I shall discharge all my share of the responsibilities for the welfare of the family and the children.

GROOM STEP 2: O’ my beloved, now you have walked with me the second step. May the Creator bless you. I will love you and you alone as my wife. I will fill your heart with strength and courage: this is my commitment and my pledge to you. May God protect the lodge and children.

BRIDE STEP 2: My husband, at all times I shall fill your heart with courage and strength. In your happiness I shall rejoice. May God bless you and our honorable lodge.

GROOM STEP 3: O my beloved, now since you have walked three steps with me, our wealth and prosperity will grow. May God bless us. May we educate our children and may they live long.

BRIDE STEP 3: My husband, I love you with single-minded devotion as my husband. I will treat all other men as my brothers. My devotion to you is pure and you are my joy. This is my commitment and pledge to you.

GROOM STEP 4: O’ my beloved, it is a great blessing that you have now walked four steps with me. May the Creator bless you. You have brought favor and sacredness in my life.

BRIDE STEP 4: O my husband, in all acts of righteousness, in material prosperity, in every form of enjoyment, and in those divine acts such as fire sacrifice, worship and charity, I promise you that I shall participate and I will always be with you.

GROOM STEP 5: O’ my beloved, now you have walked five steps with me. May the Creator make us prosperous. May the Creator bless us.

BRIDE STEP 5: O my husband, I will share both in your joys and sorrows. Your love will make me very happy.

GROOM STEP 6: O’ my beloved, by walking six steps with me, you have filled my heart with happiness. May I fill your heart with great joy and peace, time and time again. May the Creator bless you.

BRIDE STEP 6: My husband, the Creator blesses you. May I fill your heart with great joy and peace. I promise that I will always be with you.

GROOM STEP 7: O’ my beloved goddess, as you have walked the seven steps with me, our love and friendship have become inseparable and firm. We have experienced spiritual union in God. Now you have become completely mine. I offer my total self to you. May our marriage last forever.

BRIDE STEP 7: My husband, by the law of the Creator, and the spirits of our honorable ancestors, I have become your wife. Whatever promises I gave you I have spoken them with a pure heart. All the spirits are witnesses to this fact. I shall never deceive you, nor will I let you down. I shall love you forever.

 

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Ceremony – Blessing to the Four Directions – Native American Tribe Unknown

Reading

Today we call in all the powers of the 4 directions, and ask them to bless and watch over you.

May the powers of the East illuminate your path and bless you and your home with Grandfather Sun’s first light. May it be your inspiration for keeping life fresh and new.

Let the powers of the South protect the child within each of you. Always honor and trust with joy. Let laughter be your giveaway.

May the powers of the West walk with you giving you the strength to release that which no longer serves you, and the vision needed to meet all of your new goals.

The North blesses you with the wisdom of when to speak and when to listen and reminds you to be grateful for every blessing everyday, and to keep forgiveness in you heart. May your words always be sweet upon your lips.

Above the Great Star Nation reminds you; you came from the stars and to the stars you will return. We give our blessing to guard and guide you through your dreams.

The powers below bless you by keeping you grounded and on your path and reminding you to always walk softly on Mother Earth, as she is your heart beat and sustenance.

The powers within honor your hearts joy and help you be faithful to your personal growth.

Pipe to right: May you always accept our protection by walking in courage.
Pipe to left: May you receive abundance as well as nurture yourselves and others.
To Sky: May the Great Spirit watch over you as long as the grass grows, and the waters flow.

 

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Ceremony – Blessing of the Coins

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Minister: (Minister takes the coins in hand.) Now we will continue with the Blessing of the Coins.  The13 coins in this ceremony represent Jesus and his 12 disciples. The coins also represent different values that the couple desires to share between themselves: love, harmony. cooperation, commitment, peace, happiness, trust, respect, caring, wisdom, joy, wholeness and nurturing. In presenting the bride with these coins, the groom symbolically recognizes his responsibility as a provider, and pledges to support and care for his wife, as well as declares his trust in her. In receiving the coins, the bride accepts that trust and confidence unconditionally with total dedication, responsibility, and prudence. In the name of our Heavenly Father, I bless these coins, knowing that they are also a symbol of the good in store for this loving couple. I accept this for Bride’s Name and Groom’s Name, and so it is, Amen.
(Pause for Minister to pour the coins into the groom’s hands.  Groom holds his hands over the Bride’s hands.)

Minister to the Groom: Groom’s Name, please repeat after me.
I, Groom’s Name, give you Bride’s Name, these coins as a symbol of the unquestionable trust and confidence I place in you as my beloved wife. As we unite our lives today I share all material responsibility with you. (Pause as groom pours coins into bride’s hands,)

Minister to the Bride: Bride’s Name, please repeat after me.
I Bride’s Name, accept these coins and assure you, Groom’s Name, of my total dedication in looking after you and your possessions and pledge my unconditional love to you.

Minister: In exchanging these coins, Bride’s Name and Groom’s Name have agreed with each  other, what is his is hers and what is hers is his. May these coins be a symbol of this couple’s mutual love, fidelity and trust.
(Pause to hand off the coins to wedding attendant.)

 

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Ceremony – Lasso

Reading

Minister: Bride’s Name and Groom’s Name have chosen to incorporate the Lasso ritual into their wedding ceremony. The Lasso is a wedding ritual in which the couple is bound together with a ceremonial rosary. Lassoing is a declaration of intent, where the bride and groom clearly state that they are marrying of their own free will.
Bride’s Name and Groom’s Name, since your lives have crossed, you have formed and eternal and sacred bond. As you enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real the ideals that give meaning to this ceremony.

With full awareness, know that within this Lasso you are not only declaring your intent to be bound together before your friends and family, but you speak that intent also to God.

The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union and will cross all the years or your lives.

Bride’s Name and Groom’s Name, I ask you to hold hands and look into each others eyes.
Will you honor and respect one another, and seek to never break that honor?
Will you share each other’s pain and seek to ease it?
Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?
And will you share each other’s laughter, and look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?

Bride & Groom: We will.

(Pause while Lasso is draped in the form of a figure 8 around the Bride and Groom by parents or wedding attendants.)

Minister: Bride’s Name and Groom’s Name, as you are bound together now, so too your lives and spirits are joined in a union of everlasting love and trust. Above you are the stars and below you is the earth. Like the stars your love should be a constant source of light, and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow.

Minister: Let us pray.
Father in heaven, You ordained marriage for your children, and You gave us love. We present to You Bride’s Name and Groom’s Name, who come this day to be married. May the covenant of love they make be blessed with true devotion and spiritual commitment.

Bless this marriage, O God, as they begin their journey down the road of life together. We know not what lies ahead, for the road has many turns and bends, but we are grateful to you for helping them to make the best of whatever comes their way.

We are thankful that they can continue to enjoy each other as they did when they first met and for helping them to realize that nothing and no one is perfect and to look for the good in all things and all people including themselves.

Thank you for helping them to respect each other’s likes and dislikes, opinions and beliefs, hopes and dreams and fears, even though they may not always understand them.

Thank you for helping them to learn from each other and to help each other to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Thank you for helping them to realize that no matter what happens to them they will hold on to each other and know that things have a way of working out for the good.

Thank you for helping them to create a peaceful, stable home of love as a foundation on which they can build their lives.

But most of all, dear God, thank you for helping them to keep lit the flame of love that they now share, so that by their loving example, they may pass on the light of love to their children and to their children’s children forever and ever.
And so it is. Amen
(Pause while Lasso is removed by the same people who placed it)

 

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Ceremony – Ring Exchange – adapted by Arwen Freer, Minister

Ceremony

I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness.
As I place it on your finger, I commit my heart to you.
I pledge to you all that I am and all that I will ever be as your (wife/husband).
Let this ring be a reminder that I am always by your side
and may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my love.
In sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, for better or worse,
I choose you to be my (wife/husband) this day and forevermore.

 

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Ceremony – Hands

Ceremony

Please face each other and take each other’s hands.

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever. These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief comes to you.

These are the hands that will wipe the tears from your eyes countless times; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will join your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it, support and encouragement to pursue your dreams, and comfort through difficult times.

And lastly, these are the hands that, even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

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